Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I am aware of my need to intellectualise every aspect of healing. My intellect is my default response to growing and learning about myself, my instant reaction, the way I learned to cope, what I rely on - to KNOW, to UNDERSTAND, to RESEARCH and find REASON. Being a deep thinker, being wordy and cerebral. My intellect helps me dispel the fear that rises up in me when confronted with painful change and emotion. I've found that transforming myself from the inside out is the most alarmingly painful and truthful process of all, to finally confront the questions and the dark heaviness inside.
Real spiritual growth is deeper than the intellect. I honour my intellect and thirst for knowledge as valuable parts of myself but I can see now that UNDERSTANDING only gets me so far on this journey. If I can learn how to go beyond the mind, beyond thought, I can tap into an unlimited resource of truth and love, being open to discovering the depths of my soul - REAL KNOWING. I'm beginning to lead my life with my heart, not (just) my head.