Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Where You Are

'Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.'
~ Theodore Roosevelt

Truer words never spoken ~ all we can do is live now, in this moment. Be exactly WHO we are, exactly WHERE we are in our lives right now, making the best of WHAT we have and knowing that not only is it enough, it's a wonderful blessing.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Corsages and Compliments

Some deeply moving, amazing compliments from dear friends lately, so descriptive of my inner transformation on my journey of healing - that I can hear these compliments, that I can gracefully accept them, that I can agree.

'I am light and lovely. I am deep and rare and real. I am worthy of happiness and love. I am creative and beautiful. I am valuable.'

I am embracing all my complexities, my foibles, my shortcomings, the things I know, the things I'm still learning , the things I don't yet know. All of it, every cell, every emotion, every colour and shade, every facet, every detail of my Being. All of ME.

Thank you Luz and Karin G, for giving these gifts so freely. I wear them over my heart like a floral corsage. Your beautiful souls resonate with mine for eternity.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Grateful, Grateful

'Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.'
~ Lionel Hampton

'I have noticed that the Universe loves gratitude. The more grateful you are, the more goodies you get. When I say ‘goodies,’ I don’t mean only material things. I mean all the people, places, and experiences that make life so wonderfully worth living.' ~ Louise L. Hay

I am grateful for the angels in my life and for the angels on their way into my life, for this feeling of my heart opening. I am grateful for my ability to care for and nurture myself, to feed my body, to feed my soul. I am grateful for my tenacity to see things through and for the emergence of a new patience and a new ability to forgive myself when I delay my progress in some areas. I am grateful for my improved health and well-being and my unshakable belief in this journey - this seeking, this breaking open, these realisations, for making peace with my darkness, for evolution of mind, body and soul, for agony and elation, for transformation at every level. I am grateful for this newness and strangeness and for acceptance. For perspiration and heartbeats and the crunch of fresh sprouts on my salad today. For red nail enamel and sweet papaya and fragrant earl grey tea. For thunder storms and birdsong. For Indian incense and 70% cocoa dark chocolate. For my whole life, exactly where I am. For everything. Grateful, grateful.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I Was You

'By day I praised You and never knew it. By night I stayed with You and never knew it. I always thought I was me, but no, I was You.' ~ Rumi

Friday, November 26, 2010


'Right at this very moment, we can dig down deep and bring to this present moment strength, willingness and empowerment. The strength to move beyond our comfort zone, the willingness to give ourselves permission to grow and the empowerment to transform the world as we transform ourselves. We are brimming with pure potentiality, infinite possibilities and therefore are able to move beyond whatever challenge - road block, speed bump or hurdle we see before us. Feel empowered. You already are.' ~ Empowerment meditation by Davidji

Today I am feeling empowered and recognise that the power to overcome any obstacle has always been within me. I was always infinitely empowered. Today I am committed to moving on.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

On Purpose

'When you make the decision to become a Being of sharing, and practice keeping your thoughts harmonised with Spirit energy on a daily basis, your purpose will not only find you - it will chase after you wherever you go.' ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

It feels as though as soon as I committed to making a decision and unblocked myself, so many moments of pure synchronicity flowed to me yesterday. The Universe answering my call for guidance, chasing after me with confirmations, answers to prayers and gifts. Flowing WITH Life makes everything work. All is in sync.

This alignment with All That Is was further emphasised through a deeply moving and reassuring group meditation last evening where we explored our values and belief systems and how the limiting beliefs we have adopted at our core can stop us from progressing with affirmation work.

I went deeper that ever before, the feeling of falling, of being lightly touched on my left knee, prickly goose bumps on the crown of my head. I was on the cusp several times of something almost... almost revealing itself - something beautiful, angelic and so sweet, so pure, so peaceful. I want to go back there! Is that where I came from?

After our tree meditation and a chakra balancing tunnel, Lisa's guided meditation took us through cobbled streets at night, down a staircase, into an old, familiar, dank basement room, lit only with candles. A bit like 'down the rabbit-hole'. A table, chair and ancient tome ~ a book of Life, of many lives and a quill. We were to open the book and read our existing limiting beliefs, sit with those for a while. I read: 'Unworthy. Not worthy. Permission.' Then we were to tear the page out of the book, shred and burn it. We got to make a fresh start and rewrite our core beliefs, write new truths into our book, on a new page, spontaneous messages from Spirit revealing themselves. New beliefs. I wrote: 'You have magic in you. Grow. Child of mine.' Something my Mom used to say, perhaps a message from her, perhaps me reassuring my inner child, perhaps a deeply held desire to love a child of my own in this life or in past or future lives. Is this my purpose here? Universe, send me a sign.

The angel card I drew was: 'RETREAT ~ Take a mini-retreat. Listen to the voice of your Soul.' A call to take the time to renew my Being after all the immense changes that took place within and without this week
and to dwell in a space of gratitude for all this growth, all these gifts.

Yesterday's decisiveness, making it through waves of nauseating anxiety, having several synchronistic surprises culminating on the same day and this beautiful, enriching meditative experience last evening. This all feels very meant to be.
I am feeling more and more harmonised with Spirit energy and more on purpose. A wonderful feeling.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Brave Leaps

'I choose to live my life the way that makes ME happy. I choose to be in touch with my own needs and desires, I release the need to please others and know that I have a right to all my feelings and emotions. I am free.' ~ Louise L. Hay

I don't ever need to apologise for my decisions, I own my decisions. As I choose and own my emotions. My needs and desires matter, my feelings are valid. I matter. I stand in my truth. I am strong enough to make all the changes I need to make, to bring order, peace, calm and resolution to my inner and outer chaos. I am listening to my intuition and flowing with Life. This morning, a daybreak meditation and the lighting of a candle to shed light on my Being and bring peace. I have made some small steps in a new direction. Today I am making leaps to resolve this situation. Brave leaps.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Truth and love from a close friend yesterday: 'The right plan is unfolding for you. Believe it. Trust it. Now flow with it.'

I am certain that wonderful things are unfolding for me, the plan that's right for me. Touching base with you always grounds me, my darling Mich. At the lowest of my lows, at my most anxious and vulnerable, you lift me up, reassure me, are gentle with me, are tough on me, tell me you love me. Will you ever know how much I value you? You are a gift to me.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Accepting Change

'Today I will be open to the process of change. I will trust my Higher Power and believe that the place where I’ll be dropped off is better than the place where I was picked up. I know that change is necessary to take me wherever I need to go.' ~ Affirmations by Melody Beattie

'I am safe; it's only change.' ~ Louise L. Hay

I am in the process of learning to accept change. Life seems to flow much easier when I make peace with my inner Self. It's important for me to know that I can make changes without seeing myself as wrong. For too long I have felt I had to be wrong in order to make a change, that it was essential to make changes happen. It isn't. It just makes changing that much more difficult. When I come from loving acceptance, then the positive changes I desire come to me so much easier. These changes are improvements. My decision to improve my financial situation is the evolution of yet another facet of my Being. There are no mistakes, I am learning about Life. I am changing.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Book is a Gift

'A book is a gift you can open again and again. ~ Garrison Keillor

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Change your Expectations

'Change your expectations for yourself: Expect the best, expect Divine guidance, expect your fortunes to change, expect a miracle.'
~ Dr. Wayne. W. Dyer

Friday, November 19, 2010


'There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure in a person's eye when they feel that we have sympathised with them, understood them. At these moments something fine and spiritual passes between two friends. These are the moments worth living.' ~ Don Marquis

Thank you, dear Karin B ~ for spending time with me today, for your understanding and for shining your rational light on me. You help me see a new simplicity through the haze of my own self destructive and complexly layered anxieties. It will all be sorted! Oh yes, it will.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Circle of Love

'The wisdom I seek is within me. When I meditate, I connect with the deep inner unchanging part of myself. Here I am energy. I am light. I am the answer already arrived. I am eternal Beingness being here now.'
~ Louise L. Hay

A beautiful experience yesterday evening, being welcomed into a meditation circle. I am ready. A safe, warm, candlelit space, the tinkling sound of a water fountain and Lisa's gentle lulling voice guiding me deep within. A profound encounter with others and with myself.

The famous tree meditation. I felt heat, I saw colours, I felt the sensation of magnetism and vibration at my third eye chakra. I saw in incredible detail, a lush, wild fern forest, smelled the wet earth, heard the bubbling stream and very clearly heard the words: 'We love you'. I brought my current financial situation and the people involved into the quartz crystal pyramid of gold, silver and pink light, into the sacred healing space of forgiveness and sensed a clearing up, a setting to rights, I felt a shift. My truth was revealed as: 'You are worth more than this'. A deeply reassuring feeling washing through every facet of my Being. So healing, so freeing.

At the end of the meditation, an angel card I selected read: Chantall ~ 'New romance is imminent. Be open to giving and receiving love'. THAT made me smile!

This circle of love helped me calm my current anxieties and reaffirmed my growth on this journey. Thank you, thank you!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Ironing Things Out

'Today I will ask the Universe to help me let go of my need to be afraid. I welcome peace, trust, acceptance and safety into my life. I will make a point of listening to my healthy, rational fears and relinquish all the others.' ~ Affirmations by Melody Beattie

I am taking one gentle step at a time to clarify and clean up some of my professional financial records which have been neglected by someone who has carelessly not followed through. I put too much faith in them, I didn't face the truth for some time. Somehow I gave up on chasing them and continuously getting no response, my healing became my priority. I haven't felt strong enough to handle this change I KNOW I need to make. This aspect of my life inspires such deep fear and constriction within me. I avoid this panicky ache in my solar plexus, the feeling that I can't breathe.

Now I see that this is a reflection of the state of my Being, an aspect of myself that I need to heal. Now I am looking for a new perspective, a clean slate. I will enlist the help of someone new to iron things out, check things, re-balance everything. A new beginning. I am trusting my instincts. I have the ability to make these changes, I am strong enough to do this. I am committed to going at my own pace. I am exactly where I am meant to be with this situation and with my whole Life journey

This will all be sorted out in time - all is as it should be.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Stay in Peace

'Take no offence. That which offends you only weakens you. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place - so transcend your ego and stay in peace.' ~ Dr. Wayne.W. Dyer

Monday, November 15, 2010

Making the Most

'Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.' ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Treat Ourselves with Tenderness

'Self-love seems so often unrequited.' ~ Anthony Powell

'This seemingly Sisyphean task of weight loss could be your best opportunity to learn how to be your own savior. Now is the time to be kind to yourself when you fail and congratulate yourself when you do the right thing, before you're as thin as you want to be.

Because it's not going to magically happen when you hit a certain number on the scale. I know this because not one student - not one - has ever, in 30 years, told me that she was kinder to herself when she lost weight. But every single student has told me the opposite: that when she gives herself what she wants most - treating herself with tenderness - no matter what she weighs, she already has what thin will give to her.'
~ Geneen Roth

Saturday, November 13, 2010

You Heal Me

'Today, I take a moment to count my blessings.' ~ Louise L. Hay

I was so saddened after hearing of the brutal passing of my sister's boyfriend's poor dogs this week, I respond by taking the shock and pain to my little angel cat. This is a safe place to cry. Tears flow freely, I feel such a torrent of love for her and I let it flow. I said a prayer for those two little souls and did a series of gratitude meditations with my girl. We send out loving, healing energy together. Let it in some way counteract the unconscious disregard for Life that exists in our world.

My perfect princess Pistachio ~ you are beyond feline, you are a precious gift I hold so close to my heart, my miracle. I am filled with gratitude that your soul chose mine. You heal me.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Soil to the Soul

To quote my friend Mich ~ 'When I eat something, when I put something into me, I ask myself: Is this good for me? Is it going to make me feel better? Is this going to heal me? Am I adding goodness to my body?'

Eating consciously, eating well, as organic and raw as possible. Nurturing myself with nutrients. Making sure to listen to what my body needs. Feeling cleaner and brighter. From the soil to the soul.

Thank you, Lisa! For sharing your feast of delicious, green goodness and the pleasure of making your acquaintance today.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Create my Life

'I now go beyond other people's fears and limitations. I create my life.'
~ Louise L. Hay

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Doing is Loving

'Do everything in love.' 1 Corinthians 16:14

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Beautiful Beyond Compare

'You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.' Song of Songs 4:7

Exactly what I needed to hear today. Reminding me that I am SO much more than this body and all it's complicated variables and my ego-fueled insecurities. I am a beautiful, flawless Spirit and I have a dear friend who loves me for me. Thank you, my beautiful Mich, I love, love, love you.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Love Myself with Lentils

Today I weighed myself for the first time in too long. Oh, the fear! As I suspected, I have backtracked, I have begun to slip. All the little indiscretions over the last few months have added up, I can feel I have put on weight. Not a lot but some. I have decided to refocus my priorities NOW and get firmly back on track. Nutrition - exercise - supplementation, it's really very simple. It's time to WAKE UP!

Today I made a promise to myself. Today I recognise the effect that my deeply entrenched food addictions have on the subtle equilibrium of my hormones, my blood sugar, my energy and my well-being. I will listen very carefully to my body's needs. I will make conscious food choices. Eating effects how I feel and how I see myself. How I feel and how I see myself effects how I eat - the irony! My weight fluctuations are reflections of the constrictions I am living through. It's strange how I expand as I constrict! I have used food to reward myself, as an indulgence, a luxury, my something special, to be there for myself, to love myself. To escape loneliness and feelings of fear and hopelessness. I eat my depression. I have begun to depend on little gems of comforting 'soul' food to get me through. A desperate deprivation descends if there isn't something waiting in the fridge for me, a kind of disappointment, a deeply entrenched pattern that's hard to break. It's time to engage the inner parent, not the one who lets me run wild but the one who loves me and knows what the best nutritious choices are and gently guides me towards them. I'm back on track. I will re-balance body and mind. Food is my medicine. I will love myself with lentils, my health is worth more. I am worth more.

PS: Two beautiful gifts from the Universe today that took the edge off these startlingly panicky realisations: an unexpected, high-volume, nostalgic hour of The Cure on VH1 at the gym and a book I really wanted to read - 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy, in quite good condition at the library waiting for me to take it home and get lost in it's pages.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Magnificent Spirit

Now that you are an adult, you no longer need to protect yourself from a childhood that is long past. You can now experience the full range of your emotions in complete safety, knowing that you aren’t a threatened child but a magnificent spirit. The more you practice allowing your feelings, the more peace, love and self-acceptance will expand in your experience.

Peace, love and self-acceptance are expanding in my experience everyday. Even in the more challenging experiences.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Joy Flows

'Joy flows through my veins and is expressed in every part of my Being. I know my seeds are sprouting and it is a time for rejoicing. I am joyously exuberant and in harmony with all of Life.' ~ Louise L. Hay

Friday, November 5, 2010

Direction of your Dreams

'Where do you want to go? And why? Where are you heading? Where are you now? Forget where you've been - it's history and its a story that has been woven through thousands of threads of your ego. Time to let it go, get clear and move in the direction of your dreams. Start by taking a deep breath in and letting it go... going... going... gone.' ~ Davidji

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Connections of Things

'The motions and patterns and connections of things become apparent on a gut level.' ~ Robyn Davidson

Each of us has magical moments in our lives when we become aware of the oneness of all things. When we see these motions and patterns and connections, a feeling of warmth permeates our Being and we heave a sigh of heartfelt relief. WE CAN KNOW THE UNKNOWABLE. WE KNOW THE UNKNOWABLE. I believe we ARE the unknowable. Sometimes 'these knowings' are for us and us alone and they cannot be explained. I will trust these profound messages and pause and feel what I'm feeling. Totally and wholeheartedly.

Thank you, my Mich ~ for this, for yesterday and for always.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my precious Mom's birthday. A beautiful, bright, breezy, summery day full of sunshine in her honour.

A startling moment of synchronicity this morning when my dear friend Karin G, who reminds me so much of my Mom, physically and energetically, called me saying she had a deep calling to contact me today. A message of love and support from beyond, thank you.

Mom's birthday also coincides with an auspicious date in our global spiritual consciousness ~ the beginning of the next stage of Mayan consciousness shift, a polarity shift in consciousness which will support humanity in the co-creation of a new, balanced and more harmonious relationship between the masculine and feminine, which begins today ~ 3 November 2010. A special day indeed.

Thinking of you today, Mama, happy birthday! A yellow flower here for you, your favourite. You are always with me, I love you.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Julie & Julia

I loved this movie! So feminine and creative, about the art of cooking, the art of writing and the art of relationships. The bit about blogging made me smile - quite like my daily practice of blogging, how it has become a ritual that keeps me grounded and on track with my spiritual growth and healing journey. It gives me something I have to do every day, one day at a time. Something beautiful, constructive and healing, something just for me.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sail Free

'On a day when the wind is perfect, the sail just needs to open and the love starts. Today is such a day.' ~ Rumi

An emotional weekend for me, seeing my little brother move into his own home. It's an exercise in letting go, this untying of the strings that bind us to one another, the responsibility I feel to protect him and to help him through these changes, my maternal instincts I get to practice with him. I feel that this step he's made will be such a growth for him in so many ways. It still tugs at my heart to see him go out completely on his own and assert his independence. I miss my Mom at times like these ~ her calming presence, her leadership, someone for me to lean on. Sail free, little Bean, I'm cheering from the sidelines, I'll always be here for you if you need me. Always.