Wednesday, May 18, 2011
'Angels descending, bring from above, echoes of mercy, whispers of love.' ~ Fanny J. Crosby
Meditation last week was a rejuvenating experience. It is very special to me to make the commitment to carve out regular time to connect with like-minded individuals, to find stillness, go within and then share my awakenings and insights with other beautiful souls in our sacred circle of love and acceptance. It is a privilege to grow together. I've missed this!
This time our meditation focused on dying to the aspects of ourselves that no longer serve our Highest Good. I went deep. I felt physical sensations that I haven't felt before during meditation, such as a light pressure between the brows at my third eye chakra and a tingling at the back of my head, as if someone was placing their hands gently over my head and sending warm, healing energy vibrations through me. My feet felt magnetically pulled into the earth. I felt centred and tuned in. There were a few occasions during the session where I almost, almost felt and heard something, something of great importance and meaning being communicated to me but somehow communicated beyond the mind or the senses, a deep knowing. I felt on the edge of a revelation and the presence of a powerful angelic Being. Then it was gone, leaving behind a peaceful feeling of falling deeper and deeper into infinite, limitless space.
My safe place in nature was a forest of trees with dappled sunlight cascading over a thousand different greens surrounding me. Magical! A shimmering light beckons and I walk through the trees touching the tree trunks until I reach this light and walk through it into another time and space. I'm on a mountain top, with rocky cliffs and massive jagged mountains for miles. It is a barren, dry landscape, hauntingly stark and beautiful. There is a clearing, here the red earth is softer. I begin to dig the earth, I know that I am digging a grave and I know it is my own grave but I am calm and feel at peace. This is a sacred ritual. There are no negative connotations to this. My spiritual guide is with me, as is my Highest Self. These Beings don't appear to me in a physical form, they are energies ~ formless, present, loving, shining and eternal. I am safe here. I lie down in my grave, I am underground, surrounded by roots and damp earth. I do not feel panic or fear of any kind. I have transcended my physical body, I am experiencing this process with my energetic body. I know that I am dying to the aspects of myself which no longer serve my Highest Good, that limit my growth in this Life and beyond. I am willing to let these go, release the burdens I carry. I succumb to my death.
I preempted letting go of the deep dissatisfaction I feel about where I am in my life, the part of myself that worries endlessly, that feels that I am wasting my life, that feels disappointed with things as they are, that the conscious and unconscious choices I've made are somehow wrong. I know that there is no such thing as right and wrong, there just IS. These are labels of my own creation. This undermines my Highest intentions and incites fear within me and limits my progress. I wish to lay these down to rest for eternity and be satisfied with what IS, knowing that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. That all is well. I wish to move forward more easily and joyfully, fully awake, gently guided by my own internal light. I had a spontaneous thought and memory surface at this point. Something tender and raw bubbled up from deep inside my Being, calling forth to be heard, to be addressed and healed. I thought of the wounds I still carry and the part of my heart that has not forgiven the shaming and cruelty inflicted by my grandmother towards me as a child (and as an adult, all through my life really) about my weight. I would like to lay this pain down in my grave. I no longer wish to carry this. It is deeply buried but is still a part of me that holds me back. It makes me doubt my worthiness to be loved, it makes me deny the emergence of my own beauty and desirability. I would like to fully resolve my body issues and self esteem issues, to truly and totally recreate the negative internal dialogue I internalised and believed about my physical self. I release the victim I became. I release the shame. I forgive.
Once we have peacefully died to the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us and are able to shed these layers of pain and negativity, we are able to rise up, be reborn ~ more whole, lighter, freer. It was a glorious resurrection! I joyous returning to Life and living. I rise up out of my grave feeling energised, rejuvenated and full of life. I am in my physical body and feel powerful, strong, clear. There is no pain, no fear of any kind. I walk tall. There is an overwhelming sense of closure, of completion. I am free.
My angel cards read: 'EIREEN ~ Peace ~ There is no need to worry, as everything is working out beautifully' and 'ARCHANGEL URIEL ~ Your emotions are healing, which enables you to open to greater love. I will help you release anger and unforgiveness from heart and mind.' Clear reference to the two aspects of my Being that I brought to be healed in this meditation, the worrier and the unforgiving heart that still carries hurt and shame. Thank you, angels ~ for showing me that you hear me and that I am healing.
I felt amazing after this meditation, really tired and drained, I felt a shift and know that deep healing happened there. I slept very well that night, heavily and peacefully. The next day I had a surge of positive energy. I felt connected and full of hope. This work is transformational on many levels and Life is good!