Friday, June 24, 2011

The Guest House

The Guest House

'This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from Beyond.'

~ Rumi

This beautiful Rumi poem was sent to me last evening by my precious Mich ~ thank you for listening, for pacifying my anxieties and for understanding. YOU help me weather the storms of this life. I appreciate you and I love you, my dear friend, so very much.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Heart Centredness

'Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.' ~ Carl Jung

'There is a light that shines beyond all things on Earth, beyond us all, beyond the heavens, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the light that shines in our heart.' ~ The Chandogya Upanishad

Last week's mediation evening coincided with the total lunar eclipse on 15 June 2011, which further enhanced an already compelling and profound experience! Eclipses, equinoxes and solstices of 2011 are said to be infinitely more powerful than in the past several millennia. They are a time to reflect, connect with Source, meditate, raise our vibrations and open ourselves up to receiving the abundance of healing energies available to us. The energetic shifts that take place through meditation are greatly amplified during these sun/earth/moon happenings. This time, our guided meditation focused on the theme of heart centredness ~ so very central to the healing of my Being and the healing of our Earth.

Once we are gently guided to a deep place through a body relaxation and chakra balancing meditation, we arrive in a safe place in nature. I'm immediately transported to an expansive moonlit lake, a giant full moon and a galaxy of stars fill the night sky. This shining star-scape above is reflected in the midnight-blue lake below. These reflections create a continuum of deep blue space, so that I'm surrounded by in infinite, swirling cosmos of shimmering stars. I'm swimming in my lake, all is fluid and safe, I am held by the beauty that surrounds me and I am part of it. My lake is womb-like, I am naked, I am a mystical mermaid-like energy ~ playful, sensual, carefree and full of joy. A shimmering gold and silvery pink light on the horizon calls my attention and I cross over into another time and space. I enter a garden, this is a Moroccan courtyard garden, an ancient place. There is Moorish architecture, a cool, shaded interior courtyard with exotic potted plants and a tiled stone fountain in the centre. There is a prism of light in the courtyard garden, a massive clear glass structure filled with refracted light ~ all the colours of the rainbow. I step inside the prism, the triangular crystal structure towers over me, it is like entering a cathedral. I am in awe at the beauty, intensity and saturation of the colour spectrum. The rainbow-coloured light is healing and balancing, it shines through my Being, it is a reflection of my Being.

I stand in this amazing light-filled space - this holy place - and begin to focus my awareness and energy on my heart, opening my heart. I meditate on what it means to live a heart centred life, what it is to live from a heart centred place? I try not to intellectualise this soul question too much, just focus on opening my heart, inviting healing energy to touch my heart centre. Before long I fall into a deep trance. I am far away, deeper than I've ever gone before. My prism cathedral fills with beautiful green heart chakra healing light. This is love energy and it enters my Being, I am filled with it. This love energy is limitless. Spirit is flooding my Being, it pours into me and through me, I am becoming a powerful conduit for healing energy. It moves through my Being into Mother Earth. Spirit heals me and I heal the planet. I acknowledge and accept that I am receiving a green energy transfusion from the Beyond. I am one with God/Goddess consciousness and with the Earth. The Divine Mother is flowing through my veins! I feel powerful and connected. I am part of everything and everything is a part of me. The energy is very strong, it feels like a vibration. I am having a mystical experience, this is a sacred initiation! I am able to transfer healing energy to all those who are suffering and transmute pain and negativity into love. I have the sensation of holding my own Being and all the Beings of the vast, limitless Universe in my huge heart. I heal us this way. A message comes through me to all the Beings that inhabit Mother Earth:

'This is a call for ascension into heart centered Consciousness, let us raise our level of awareness, let us support the filling of the Universe with loving, nurturing Feminine energy, so we may heal. Oh, sacred Divine Mother ~ Goddess of Light and Love ~ our precious Gaia ~ let gentleness, compassion, growth, beauty and harmony reign supreme here on Earth.' A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! :)

To me living from a heart centred place means putting Heart Consciousness at the centre of my life, realising that my heart is the core of my Being and allowing my thoughts, words and deeds to reflect this. Operating from a heart centred place means shining the light of Consciousness into the darkest corners of ourselves while we practice self-compassion, forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves as we are, as we lovingly embracing our dis-ease, flaws and sheer humanness! Being heart centred is about being an authentic expression of ourselves, letting our God-given beauty shine through. It is about moving through eternity (and this life, this parentheses in eternity) with grace and an open heart, always returning to a place of equanimity ~ a grounded, everlasting, deep connection to the Divine, to inner wisdom, to Source; operating from a self-aware space for our Highest Good. Heart centredness is always returning to love, light, compassion, healing, a higher energy vibration, peace, harmony, feeling and Truth ~ a sacred central space where we fully embrace the fact that: WHAT WE ARE IS THE BEYOND.

This meditation experience was very powerful, on returning to full consciousness, to the reality of my body on that chair, in that room, I felt dizzy and had the feeling that I was travelling very fast through time and space, covering a great distance in a short amount of time. I also saw flashes of light behind closed eyes. I felt intense abdominal pain during and after the meditation, a pulling sensation at my ovaries and uterus ~ the call of the Divine Feminine. This was a 'meeting of the sacred four' ~ it was no coincidence that just four of us joined in this particular meditation during the full lunar eclipse. Lisa shared with us afterwards that something very dramatic happened here, a miraculous happening, something beyond comprehension, beyond the mind, she felt it deeply. The four of us have done this before in another lifetime in Egypt! It is a sacred coincidence, a holy synchronicity. We are to mark this day in our journals, the significance of which will be revealed to us when the time is right. We should write down our dreams. We are to practice holding the energy inside ourselves, not diluting it through flippancy, laughter or over-intellectualising our experiences. We touched other-worldy past-life visions, our soul stories were revealed to us! This is not a time to be frivolous with the sacredness we possess! We are to honour the energy that has been activated within us and allow the healing shifts to take place.

I received some priceless feedback from the dear souls I shared this fantastic experience with. They agreed that I am changing, my energy is shifting. These are visible shifts to my Being, reflected outwardly. I actually look different! I'm beautiful, glowing and radiant. Lisa said she is seeing a young priestess here before her! My energy is lighter, calmer, more loving. I'm shifting from living under a great heaviness to consciously releasing this. I have a straighter posture, this lightness of spirit is reflected in a longer neck! Lisa said that I will surprise myself! All good things to hear! I'm grateful to you, beautiful souls.

The angel cards I selected were: 'KALI ~ Endings and Beginnings: The old must be released so that the new can enter' and 'REJUVENATION ~ Get a good night's sleep. Rejuvenate your body, mind and spirit.' A gentle reminder from my angels to let go of certain negative things, so that I can welcome in positivity and healing, that this is indeed the Divine flow of the Universe. Also, I've been experiencing sleep disturbances lately, as I process mental/emotional shifts and spiritual awakenings, I have trouble sleeping, waking in the early hours to journal and discharge! In choosing this angel card, I could hear my angels say: 'Sleep now, my child, just let go and sleep, we send you peace.' I'm happy to report that my angels blessed me with a deep, sound night's sleep the night of this meditation! Thank you angels!

Saturday, June 18, 2011


'What the ego doesn't want us to see is that our pain doesn't come from the love we weren't given in the past, but from the love we ourselves aren't giving in the present. Salvation is only found in the present. Every moment we have a chance to change our past and our future by reprogramming the present.' ~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Thanks for the inspiration, Lisa! x

Monday, June 6, 2011

Morning of Stillness

'A scholar said: Speak of Talking. And he answered, saying: You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts. And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart, you live in your lips, sound is a diversion and a pastime. In much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly. There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone. The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape. And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand. And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words. In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence. When you meet your friend on the roadside or in the marketplace, let the spirit in you move your lips and direct your tongue. Let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear. For his soul will keep the truth of your heart as the taste of the wine is remembered. When the colour is forgotten and the vessel is no more.' ~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Sunday a week ago I attended a Hatha Yoga and meditation workshop ~ a morning of purification and Stillness. It was challenging to start the practice of silence immediately upon arrival and maintain it throughout the morning, no smiles or talking with the eyes! It's amazing to become aware of how much we have learned to rely on spoken and unspoken communication and how much it distracts us from our centre and can somehow mask the true beauty of our Beings.

The workshop was awakening and transformative, an exercise in dropping all our pretenses and reconnecting with Stillness. It was freeing to just BE. I was quietly contemplative during and was left feeling peaceful and contented afterwards. A beautiful experience in a beautiful place with like-minded souls. There was an oriental garden, winter morning sunshine shining through the windows onto the wooden floor of the cozy practice room, sweet incense burning, crystals and soft chanting music. There were Tibetan bowls and peppermint tea and Yoga Asanas (postures) and Pranayama (breath work) and silence and Oneness. There was holding hands in a circle and communal 'OMs' in harmony to close our time together. It was inspiring! Namaste.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Lead into Gold

'Not all those who wander are lost.' ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Last week's meditation group was inspiring as always! This meditation's theme centred on the eternal cycles of decay and renewal we follow in our lives. Our task is to learn to augment the inevitable upward spiral, where we are continually renewed and are able to digest soul lessons and rebirth ourselves, grow and change.

The meditation begins with a deep body relaxation and chakra balancing, then we find ourselves in a real or imagined safe place in nature, gently allowing our sub-conscious minds to deliver us a spontaneous experience. I found myself in a rose quartz crystal cave, surrounded by soft, pink beaming light. The entrance to the cave leads out onto a sheer cliff face, the view from my cave is spectacular, I am high above a vast seascape that goes on forever and a rugged, rocky shoreline. I have perspective from this viewpoint, high above it all. It is peaceful up here. A shimmering mist appears in the atmosphere outside my cave. I jump off the cliff through it, completely unafraid, I just surrender to the death of this reality. I let go. I am falling and flying. (This is definitely a GROWTH for me!!) I am moving into another time and space. I find myself lying on a mountain top. It is an Alpine scene, lush green grass dotted with wild spring flowers and snow-capped mountains in the distance. Everything is crisp and fresh. I get up and walk towards a clearing. Here there is a large glass pyramid, I step inside. I see a minimal concrete altar before me and on the altar are four objects: an ornate gold mirror, a heavy silver sword, an ancient wand or torch lit by fire and a pewter chalice.

We are asked to pick up each of the objects in turn and gently observe any thoughts, reactions, feelings or memories that come up. First I picked up the mirror. This is the mirror of HONESTY, where we can truthfully reflect on our journeys and see our truest, deepest selves with acceptance and without self-judgement. I didn't see a reflection in my mirror but quite suddenly felt my Mom's presence around me. I felt a tingling on my head and forehead, as if she was holding her hand above my head, transmitting warm love energy into my Being. I felt emotions rise up inside me, I let the tears come. A single tear ran down my left cheek from under my closed lashes, from my feminine side. It felt healing to gently cry during the meditation, to honour the feelings that arrived in that moment and to release the pain that came up. Next I picked up the sword. This is the sword of DISCERNMENT, sharpening our senses of perception and observation, so that we may make more informed choices about what we choose to release and what we choose to nurture into existence within our Beings. Next I picked up the lit wand. This is the wand of HUMILITY, we use this to shine the light of humility and Consciousness into the darkest corners of our ego mind, so that we may transmute through fire those things that no longer serve our Highest Good. Lastly I picked up the chalice. This is the chalice of CELEBRATION, this allows us to experience all the beauty, abundance and fullness that exists for us. I replace all four objects on the altar and stand in front of it for a while, quietly contemplating the significance of the symbols for myself. As I do this I hear the distinct words: 'We support you.'

This meditation flashed past, it felt very quick and was over too soon! I felt that I needed more time to meditate on each of the four sacred symbolic objects. Lisa assured us that we would delve deeper into this meditation again at a later date. This ancient ritual at the altar with the four objects of honesty, discernment, humility and celebration is a powerful and profound exercise, a way for us to reflect as we prepare to complete yet another cycle of 'releasing the old to make way for the new' in the upward spiral of Life. This ritual can help us transcend the pain and grief of change, so that we can be released from it to wander with purpose and joy on these journeys of the soul, to magically transform our inner lead into gold. This analogy to me means having the strength and insight to use the immovable obstacles and heaviness we feel within us as doorways to creating freedom and healing, so we may learn the priceless soul lessons mapped out for us.

The angel cards I selected were: 'ISOLT ~ Undying Love: The love you have shared is eternal, regardless of the situation' and 'PATIENCE ~ Now is the time to learn, study and gather information. Enjoy being a student, because in the future you will synthesise your knowledge into action.' So very central to two issues I'm currently experiencing! As I navigate the stormy waters of my relationship with my precious sister, it is good to be reminded by my angels that our sisterly love is eternal. We are karmically blessed, regardless of the current ego-driven conflicts surfacing within me. And ~ aaah... patience ~ not one of my natural attributes! Just the previous evening my sweet friend Mich pointed out that patience is indeed a virtue, when I expressed my impatience in awaiting my elusive menstrual gift, with all the side effects of the hormonal imbalance that this wait brings. I am indeed currently an eager student of the Spirit! Thank you angels, for the reminders!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


'If all things are means,
Then means are the end,
Our pleasures and pains
But a river's bend;
So flow, flow on my soul,
Let go… once again.' ~ Guy Finley

My second reflexology session with my sister was profoundly revealing. Just two sessions so far and already so much is being revealed to me about myself on this journey. The feet really do tell all!

Opening my healing journal now to review my notes on the session, I'm struck by a beautiful sweet scent of rose that leaps from the pages. The whole session, the room, my body (and my journal included!) were immersed in the heady, soft, feminine scent of rose balm and rose essence. A highly symbolic scent, the rose is the perfect treatment and analogy of my healing process. Representing the Divine Feminine, the rose is the flower of the Goddess, symbolising the Sacred Vulva, the creative gateway through which life is born. In Ayurveda, rose is a calming and cooling aroma that pacifies and soothes the emotional heart of the Pitta dosha, where personally the fires of determination, diligence and perfectionism burn intensely. As a rose opens to reveal it's petals, so am I emerging and blossoming through this process, allowing my feminine beauty and uniqueness to shine.

I feel positive about some improvements noticeable in my feet. I'm not AS stuck, rigid and inflexible as I was, I am starting to slowly release this. I have improved with water retention, my feet are not as swollen, I'm correcting the oedema that trapped me. The mucus level in my body has normalised through eliminating dairy and sugar from my diet and increasing water consumption.

As I am currently in a state of hormonal imbalance, being pre-menstrual and with my period being delayed by ten days, we worked on stimulating the ovaries and uterus, gently coaxing my menstrual gift to flow forth. At the same time, inviting my system to release stress and overwhelm from the last few weeks that I'm holding onto. This activation was very painful in my feet (sore spots are still bruised!) and in my body, I developed severe abdominal pain during and after the session. I particularly felt it on my left side, my feminine energy side, perhaps my capacity to feel is more open on my feminine side and I'm more in touch with my reproductive organs through this channel? We engaged the power of the breath to work through this pain and literally breathe it out of my Being, releasing it through breath. She also worked with a 'flicking' technique on my feet, drawing the endometriosis out of my body through the feet. Through this portion of the treatment I visualised a red blood river of Life flowing freely with red rose petals ~ life-giving, alive, abundant and beautiful.

The energy flow between my sacral chakra energy centre (my key chakra, the seat of my dis-ease) and my feet is sluggish. This can effect the body's communication through the feet. I must work on this connection. My sister saw a vision of me tracing an infinity symbol over my entire body, from above my head to beneath my feet, creating a closed circuit of light, a live network of energy with sparks shooting off it. Imagining and meditating on this infinity symbol will energise my chi, creating FLOW, connection and Oneness. If I can improve the connection between my sacral chakra and my feet, the reflexology and energy zones will become more accessible and thereby more available for healing. I can also work on opening my heart chakra towards my sister, I somehow stop myself from completely opening up to her within the healing context. I know that I have anxiety that comes up and unconscious barriers that come down to protect me when I feel vulnerable or when I catch a glimpse of the closeness I crave. For me it's a combination of feeling overwhelmed at a deep level by the intimacy of reflexology and realising that I do not yet feel safe enough to fully allow my sister into my personal healing space, without fear of judgement. We have aspects of our relationship to heal, I believe this may be a doorway for us ~ to open ourselves more deeply to one another as sisters, so that a generous allowing of the symbiosis of our Spirits can grow, a private and sacred energy exchange between two women who are so similar and yet so different! If I can bring the light of awareness to this deeply held unconscious resistance, I can make it conscious, lessen it's power, release and heal it.

My sister also noted the following: The natural skin ripples under my feet and the level of dryness of my skin reflect a hormone imbalance. She could 'read' that I have been experiencing sleep disturbances and have not been able to recharge my system to the level I need to function optimally. My lower back came up, it's as though the pain has been transferred around my lower abdomen to my lower back, like an energy 'belt' ~ very true of how I experience the physical pain of endometriosis. My hips are not in alignment and there are issues with my knees and ankles - the joints - this represents feeling a lack of (external) support as I learn to self-nurture and support myself from within. My neck came up, I have inflexibility in turning my head, seeing and hearing other points of view. My bladder is under pressure and inflamed, there is a sense of holding on with a tight grip at the bladder. I know that there are pelvic adhesions on my bladder and bowel, so this may be a sign of inflammation there, another example of how I cause stress in my body through the mental/emotional blockage of holding on/holding in.

The angel card I selected was: LISTENING ~ 'Listen to your Wise Self ~ Let your inner compass direct the course of your life.' I am indeed fully engaged with my inner teacher, listening deeply.

All in all REVEALING and STIRRING. I feel very privileged to have this most valuable and precious healing resource in the form of my lovingly generous and beautifully talented, spiritually-aware sister (xxx) and the opportunity to include the powerful art of reflexology into the healing mix.