Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Infinity


'If all things are means,
Then means are the end,
Our pleasures and pains
But a river's bend;
So flow, flow on my soul,
Let go… once again.' ~ Guy Finley

My second reflexology session with my sister was profoundly revealing. Just two sessions so far and already so much is being revealed to me about myself on this journey. The feet really do tell all!

Opening my healing journal now to review my notes on the session, I'm struck by a beautiful sweet scent of rose that leaps from the pages. The whole session, the room, my body (and my journal included!) were immersed in the heady, soft, feminine scent of rose balm and rose essence. A highly symbolic scent, the rose is the perfect treatment and analogy of my healing process. Representing the Divine Feminine, the rose is the flower of the Goddess, symbolising the Sacred Vulva, the creative gateway through which life is born. In Ayurveda, rose is a calming and cooling aroma that pacifies and soothes the emotional heart of the Pitta dosha, where personally the fires of determination, diligence and perfectionism burn intensely. As a rose opens to reveal it's petals, so am I emerging and blossoming through this process, allowing my feminine beauty and uniqueness to shine.

I feel positive about some improvements noticeable in my feet. I'm not AS stuck, rigid and inflexible as I was, I am starting to slowly release this. I have improved with water retention, my feet are not as swollen, I'm correcting the oedema that trapped me. The mucus level in my body has normalised through eliminating dairy and sugar from my diet and increasing water consumption.

As I am currently in a state of hormonal imbalance, being pre-menstrual and with my period being delayed by ten days, we worked on stimulating the ovaries and uterus, gently coaxing my menstrual gift to flow forth. At the same time, inviting my system to release stress and overwhelm from the last few weeks that I'm holding onto. This activation was very painful in my feet (sore spots are still bruised!) and in my body, I developed severe abdominal pain during and after the session. I particularly felt it on my left side, my feminine energy side, perhaps my capacity to feel is more open on my feminine side and I'm more in touch with my reproductive organs through this channel? We engaged the power of the breath to work through this pain and literally breathe it out of my Being, releasing it through breath. She also worked with a 'flicking' technique on my feet, drawing the endometriosis out of my body through the feet. Through this portion of the treatment I visualised a red blood river of Life flowing freely with red rose petals ~ life-giving, alive, abundant and beautiful.

The energy flow between my sacral chakra energy centre (my key chakra, the seat of my dis-ease) and my feet is sluggish. This can effect the body's communication through the feet. I must work on this connection. My sister saw a vision of me tracing an infinity symbol over my entire body, from above my head to beneath my feet, creating a closed circuit of light, a live network of energy with sparks shooting off it. Imagining and meditating on this infinity symbol will energise my chi, creating FLOW, connection and Oneness. If I can improve the connection between my sacral chakra and my feet, the reflexology and energy zones will become more accessible and thereby more available for healing. I can also work on opening my heart chakra towards my sister, I somehow stop myself from completely opening up to her within the healing context. I know that I have anxiety that comes up and unconscious barriers that come down to protect me when I feel vulnerable or when I catch a glimpse of the closeness I crave. For me it's a combination of feeling overwhelmed at a deep level by the intimacy of reflexology and realising that I do not yet feel safe enough to fully allow my sister into my personal healing space, without fear of judgement. We have aspects of our relationship to heal, I believe this may be a doorway for us ~ to open ourselves more deeply to one another as sisters, so that a generous allowing of the symbiosis of our Spirits can grow, a private and sacred energy exchange between two women who are so similar and yet so different! If I can bring the light of awareness to this deeply held unconscious resistance, I can make it conscious, lessen it's power, release and heal it.

My sister also noted the following: The natural skin ripples under my feet and the level of dryness of my skin reflect a hormone imbalance. She could 'read' that I have been experiencing sleep disturbances and have not been able to recharge my system to the level I need to function optimally. My lower back came up, it's as though the pain has been transferred around my lower abdomen to my lower back, like an energy 'belt' ~ very true of how I experience the physical pain of endometriosis. My hips are not in alignment and there are issues with my knees and ankles - the joints - this represents feeling a lack of (external) support as I learn to self-nurture and support myself from within. My neck came up, I have inflexibility in turning my head, seeing and hearing other points of view. My bladder is under pressure and inflamed, there is a sense of holding on with a tight grip at the bladder. I know that there are pelvic adhesions on my bladder and bowel, so this may be a sign of inflammation there, another example of how I cause stress in my body through the mental/emotional blockage of holding on/holding in.

The angel card I selected was: LISTENING ~ 'Listen to your Wise Self ~ Let your inner compass direct the course of your life.' I am indeed fully engaged with my inner teacher, listening deeply.

All in all REVEALING and STIRRING. I feel very privileged to have this most valuable and precious healing resource in the form of my lovingly generous and beautifully talented, spiritually-aware sister (xxx) and the opportunity to include the powerful art of reflexology into the healing mix.

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